5 sex languages: The Erotic Blueprint
You may have heard of the five love languages, but did you know that there are five sex languages, too? The new wave of defining relationship terms and concepts is here.
Most, if not all of us, have heard of the five love languages that define how a person best receives or gives love. For years we’ve been asking our friends if they prefer gift giving, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch or quality time (or the newest love language: being seen/validated). But beyond love and admiration for your partner, sex languages are the ways that people show attraction and lust for their other half.
Your mini-history lesson
In 2021, the show Sex, Love & Goop aired on Netflix with Gwyneth Paltrow leading her audience through an experiment. She took couples to sex and intimacy consultants to better engage in intimacy with each other. Miss Jaiya is a sexologist on the show, who independently created her own courses and hub of information regarding her project called the Erotic Blueprint breakthrough, where she uses five types of sex languages to describe different ways people sexually connect or get turned on by their sexual partners.
The five types of sex languages
Energetic: If someone’s primary sex language is energetic, a lot of their arousal has to do with anticipation/the excitement and “build-up” that comes before/with sex.
Sensual: People with this sex language get turned on when their senses are incorporated into physical intimacy. They want their “see, hear, feel, taste, and/or touch” to be utilized.
Kinky: A kinky partner is someone interested in “taboo,” ideas/acts, whether that means psychologically or sensationally kinky (or a combination of both).
Sexual: Someone with a sexual type is turned on by the thought/visual of nudity, penetration, genitals ... what we currently view as sex today. This is one of the simpler erotic blueprints to have, but for the people who get ignited this way, they see it as what works for them and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Shapeshifter: A person with a shapeshifter erotic type can typically play in to any of the previously explained sex languages. If their partner gets turned on by a certain action, the shapeshifter can adapt to that same sex language to get their person turned on while also being turned on themselves.
You can figure out which erotic blueprint type out of the five you have if you take the free quiz. There’s a longer version of the quiz you can pay for that gives you a percentage for each of the five, and the results will show how energetic, sensual, kinky, sexual and shapeshifter you are.
Where to learn more
If you’re interested in figuring out more about your sex language and exploring more about increasing your understanding of physical intimacy, here are a couple ideas of where to start:
Miss Jaiya, creator of the Erotic Blueprint/sex language categories, has a blog, coaching and courses in addition to being the origin of the erotic blueprint quiz. While costly, her blog is free to browse through for light reading on intimacy education.
Netflix’s show Sex, Love & Goop, as mentioned before, exemplifies the five erotic blueprints in the first couple of episodes, so if you’re a visual learner/not quite sure which erotic blueprint you have, watching the show may tell you more about your sex language and ways to increase intimacy with your partner in general.
The editors of Goop (who created the Netflix show) also published “The Sex Issue: Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Sexuality, Seduction & Desire” in 2018. The book explores six sections: seduction and the artistry of creating and reigniting attraction, sexuality and its many layers, how to get what you want out of sex, orgasm education and its final section is on basic sex ed. While not directly about sex languages, this book can provide you with introductory topics to getting more physical intimacy out of your relationship for both you and your partner.
There’s more than one way to ignite the sexual energy in a person, and now we’ve laid out “the basic” few. Knowing how you/your partner gets turned on can make your intimate lives better if that’s an area of your relationship you’re looking to spice up, renew or explore.
Header photo by Andrea Piacquadio
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