How to love yourself using your love languages

Love exists in many of your relationships, the famous one being your romantic relationships and then the ones with your friends and family. But the often forgotten yet equally important relationship that deserves love is the relationship you have with yourself.

People show and receive love traditionally through five love languages. You can take a love language test online and find out how the languages rank for you and how you naturally like to give and receive love. It can provide clarity and understanding in your relationships and help you know what you are looking for in them.

There are five love languages:

1. Words of affirmation

2. Quality time

3. Physical touch

4. Acts of service

5. Receiving gifts

Just like you can give and receive love from other people using these love languages, you can also love and appreciate yourself based on your top love languages:

Words of affirmation

Words of affirmation can be realizing good things about yourself. We often compliment others and expect good things from others, but why not tell ourselves? Maybe you might journal and tell yourself positive things that you love about yourself. You might leave little notes for yourself in places that only you would think to look, like behind the mason jar of honey on your kitchen shelf or underneath the extra bottle of shampoo in your bathroom cupboard. Maybe your journals will turn into poems or songs about yourself and little discoveries you have made that make you love yourself that much more. Turn them into a love letter to show your future self the blossoming love you have for yourself.

Acts of Service

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Acts of service can be accomplishing good things for yourself. Thinking ahead for the week and meal prep if the week is hectic. Perhaps it’s been a while since you’ve cleaned the house. You could give yourself a clean, fresh and tranquil space to work on other activities. Even making sure you have all of your annual health appointments in check so that you are your most healthy. Take care of yourself. Think of what your future self will thank your past self for doing. Draw yourself a nice long bubble bath with your favorite scented candles; let your inner child splash in the warmth.

Receiving gifts

Receiving gifts can be bringing in material to yourself. Buy yourself that Flower Bouquet or Tree House Lego set you couldn’t get as a kid no matter how much you asked. Buy yourself that nice limited edition book or cutlery set whether you use it or leave it for decor to elevate your space. Aside from retail therapy, you can book a trip to the mountains and treat yourself to a spa day among nature and natural springs. You might spend money on yourself by advancing your career or hobby by taking a class. Gift yourself something you know you deserve.

Quality time

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Quality time can be creating time for yourself and feeling good with yourself. Take yourself out on a date. You can do just enough for yourself in whatever space that is. Spend time doing the things that bring you joy and you find peace in. There are activities we may try to share with people in our life and they may not enjoy them to the degree that we do or they may be more enjoyable doing on our own. This is the perfect opportunity to enjoy that activity to the most with the person you know will enjoy it just as much as you, you! Read the book you have been meaning to move from your TBR to your Finished pile and move one step closer to accomplishing your yearly reading challenge. Cook yourself that weird food combination that you secretly love. Or, finally, go to that musical that you’ve been wanting to see for months now.

Physical touch

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Physical touch can be the gentle caress of self-love. There are a variety of physical sensations that can help you love yourself — go to the spa or get a massage. Take a class that stretches your muscles and limbs and helps you breathe freely. You might want to even take time to go through your skin care routine. If you have a makeup routine, you might try something more natural and muted or you may try something more colorful and dramatic. Go outside after and feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. Come back inside and cozy up in a warm, soft textured blanket. Turn on some music, feel the timbre and vibrations of the beats and have a dance party.

You deserve to feel loved with yourself and within yourself. All of the love languages live in you to varying degrees so you can try all of these activities based on what you feel you need that day. This is just a part of your lifelong self-love journey and maybe you’ll discover more about yourself in the process and how you love yourself.