What if we viewed sensitivity as a superpower?
By Alicia Casey
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels
Adulting is hard, and at times it can feel as though the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. While it may seem like society is telling you to bear it, the reality is that it’s OK to not be strong 24/7. So maybe a few things are put off until later, but one thing’s for sure, the Earth won’t fall off its axis while you take time for yourself to recharge. Feeling as though you need to save the world can be exhausting. First and foremost, you must find a way to save yourself first before you save anyone else.
Having deep emotions tied to tasks, experiences, conversations and people is a sign that you’re a sensitive individual. Odds are that you’ve been told to stop being so dramatic at one point in your life and it hurts you to the core. While some may say that showing your emotions is a weakness, it’s actually the most human thing you can do. In fact, being able to identify and recognize emotional changes in yourself and others makes you more in tune with reality than you might even know.
It can be damaging when you’re told time and time again that you’re not good enough when you’re being your most vulnerable self with others. That pent up pain can manifest in different ways such as avoiding conflict, having loose boundaries, feeling misunderstood or neglecting your self-care. There’s a saying that says to secure your oxygen mask first before you help anyone else, and that reasoning applies here. The solution is not to tone down who you are to make others more comfortable. On the contrary, the way through life’s many obstacles is to find ways to validate your emotions before you open up to another person, or offer your support to someone else.
A study published in the National Library of Medicine found that the highly sensitive brain reacts more intensely when activated by emotionally stimulating situations. So, the next time someone tells you to “Tone it down” or “Stop being that way,” take a moment to remind yourself that you have neuroscience on your side to back up your response. According to their research findings, the brain regions associated with empathy, awareness and processing sensory information are more activated than those that are not highly sensitive. What does this mean exactly? Long story short, it says that you have a brilliant and unique super brain that’s more attuned to the shifts in the world around you.
So, if you’re emotionally overstimulated and that brain of yours tells you to have a good hearty cry, go for it. Remind yourself in those tough moments that you are doing the most beneficial thing for yourself to feel fully and without restraint. And grant yourself the grace to own the discomfort of it all. too. One day you’ll look back and be thankful that you didn’t suppress those difficult feelings. If you do, they will come back up to the surface one way or another.
By giving yourself the permission to let go of the mental blocks that are holding you back or getting in your way, you become better at managing your emotions and building your resilience.
Ready for another great part of the equation? When you come out of the challenging experience, you emerge as someone who is more empathetic, understanding, conscientious and accepting toward the emotions of others in the environments you interact with.
You may have heard that you need to have “thick skin” to be successful and thrive. That terminology was first used circa 1545, a time when society placed value on social standing and appearances over connection and authenticity in interactions. It connoted being able to deal with criticism from others and move forward in an unaffected manner. However, let’s not forget that the term was created centuries ago and is outdated for the modern and emotionally literate times we live in.
In the 21st century, being “thick-skinned” often refers to being able to adapt to life’s changes and come out on top. Although this sounds incredible, to continually bounce back unscathed from hardships, it doesn’t allow you to address your emotional suffering. Over time, compartmentalizing your emotions can build up and lead to growing distant from your feelings and interpersonal goals and values. Even though this may offer momentary relief, doing so may contribute to you missing out on opportunities to build out and practice your coping skills.
What should this tell you? Above all, it lets you know that if you identify as a sensitive person, you’re doing great exactly as you are. Know that you don’t have to overcompensate or apologize for having a big heart and big feelings. Actually, by having deep emotional reactions you are able to cultivate more positives in your life because you are aware of how special each moment really is. Although you may need to add to practice coping ahead when times get hard, even doing that extra step is putting you in a position to take care of yourself and others better in the long term.
In this day and age, with everything we know about the benefits of having open mental conversations, it’s time we let go of harmful labels like being “thick-skinned” or “thin-skinned” and focus on practicing emotional regulation, strong boundaries and vulnerability. Certainly, we can use more empathetic and emotionally validating people these days, so if you’re a sensitive individual, don’t let the world take away your spark. You help bring out the best in this life and in others around, and that superpower can’t afford to be lost.
