5 steps to manage overthinking
By Esha Ahmed
Photo by Darina Belonogova / Pexels
Imagine yourself sitting in a peaceful room surrounded by sounds of tranquility and no disturbance. Not even a few breaths are taken and your thoughts start brewing:
“Will I have time to complete the homework assignment due tonight?”
“Am I sure I filled in the correct answer on that exam last week?”
“Did I overestimate my abilities to get into the research program I applied for?”
Are you soaking in every moment of this rare peaceful occurrence or are you entertaining these thoughts that are coming and going at lightning speed, repeatedly bombarding your brain?
This overwhelming feeling is known as overthinking. Agonizing over the future, reminiscing about the past, uncontrollably imagining what others think about you, paralysis surrounding potentially wrong decisions, excessive stress/depression, among others are all symptoms of overthinking. It is in similar situations that I tend to overthink because when my mind is completely free, these thoughts make their way into my brain and take over, immediately changing my tranquility into excessive stress.
Overthinking is an inevitable, humanistic thought process that is unavoidable. Humans naturally jump from one thing to the next because we are curious beings and like to be prepared for what is to come. However, there is a fine line between curiosity of the future and a constant barrage of thoughts rushing continuously. Recognizing that fine line is essential for our well-being because consistent overthinking habits eventually take a toll on one’s mental and potentially physical health. Because the nature of overthinking is inevitable, there is no way to put a complete halt.
These overwhelming feelings stem from stress and worry which are emotions. Luckily, emotions are controllable. There are ways to manage this overwhelming sensation as it appears. It is only after recognition and acceptance that you’ll be able to take action and apply methods of management. Below are some of the methods I find really helpful and effective when I notice myself falling deep into the pool of overthinking.
Recognize destructive thought patterns
Destructive thought patterns can appear in many forms in your mind, some worse than others. The most common forms of destructive thoughts include dwelling on the past and being pessimistic toward the future. If you’ve experienced past trauma, and unimproving circumstances, it can be easy to get stuck in the past. A single moment can take you back to the past as if you were still there. A wave of thoughts, one after another, takes over your mind and overwhelms you within minutes.
Pessimism toward the future causes incessant worrying, a type of worry that is not triggered by something but allows you to deep dive into the possibility of everything going wrong. Whether this worry stems from previous experiences of everything going wrong or from being cautious of what is to come, overthinking is taking place within your mind.
Although it sounds easy, recognizing these thought patterns is the most difficult yet most important step in the process. When you are deep into these thoughts and trying to reason within yourself about each one, you won’t be able to leave room for recognition which will allow the thoughts to continue appearing.
Sometimes, typically after a long period of time, overthinking becomes second nature making recognition even more difficult. As soon as you are able to identify a singular negative thought, you will know to gain strength and immediately brush it off. I like to think of it as throwing away the seed before it plants itself into your mind and grows into a tree, since trees are harder to break down than seeds are to flick away. I have gotten much practice with brushing my thoughts off but sometimes even my thoughts overtake me without realizing, and I spiral into a whirlwind of overwhelming thoughts which is really hard to get out of. Catching it right at the start avoids the mental wrestling match and saves brain energy to be put toward more positive actions that need to be done.
Let go of the past, live in the present and focus on the future
Finding peace within moments of the past and living life to the fullest in present times is essential to minimize overthinking. Destructive thought patterns stem from not being able to let go of past events which keep you from living in the present moment and focusing on a better future. Instead of agonizing about what could have been, shift your thought process into what happened was necessary for the course of my life and it happened for a reason because in the end, everything happens for a reason, whether it’s positive or not. We tend to want to look for the reasons behind everything, but it’s better for our mental health to let go without questioning things we might not get answers to.
On the other hand, we also can’t predict what will happen in the future. Believing that everything will go wrong is not productive because if it doesn’t, we wasted our energy, and if it does, we still wasted our energy on worrying rather than problem solving. If we make peace with this and stop continuously searching for answers, our mind will automatically relax and learn to live in the moment.
Living in the moment allows you to cherish every memory being created and soak in all the beauty and positivity that surrounds you, all while having a clear mind. We get so caught up in the past or worry about the future that we forget to appreciate the present that is right in front of us and often end up regretting missed moments later on. Taking a deep breath, centralizing yourself, reflecting on all five senses around you and practicing gratitude will give you a mental reset and bring you back to the present.
Clearing your mind of negative thoughts involving the past or the future will allow you to focus on the present because a mind can only handle so much at once. If it chooses the past or the future, there will be no room to add the present and we have to make the present a priority to avoid overthinking. You should only focus on the future if you are solving problems or planning. Channel your mental energy toward solution brainstorming and acting upon these ideas to fix the root of your overthinking rather than wasting this energy on overthinking the problem. Problem identification is necessary, but moving onto solutions quickly after identification avoids overthinking. If the problem is out of your control, focus on coping mechanisms and potential ways you can fix certain aspects on a smaller scale. Your life will be more productive.
Find a distraction
Although it seems childish and is not a permanent solution, finding a distraction can be helpful to manage current overwhelming thoughts. If you tell yourself to stop thinking, it might make you want to think more, but finding a distraction allows you to change the channel of your TV-like brain toward something you enjoy doing, and that takes you away from the thoughts occupying your brain.
Finding a distraction also gives you an excuse to spend time on hobbies. Once you recognize a destructive thought pattern that could potentially spiral into overthinking, you should quickly brush it off and distract yourself with an activity that brings you joy. This could be meditation, a physical activity, service, creativity, among various other things — just anything to get you away from the incoming thoughts. Personally, I enjoy swimming because being underwater really allows me to let go of everything on land. It is as though the water carries all my incessant thoughts and worries and washes them away. I come out feeling refreshed and physically exhausted which leaves no room for negative thoughts to enter my mind.
Understand the unchangeable nature of wrong decisions
No matter how permanent we believe our decision making process is, it is important to understand that most of the decisions we make are reversible. Everyone has to make decisions at some point in their life, whether they are small decisions about which classes to select this semester or larger choices like which individual to marry. However, understanding that all decisions made can be reversible will help the overthinking. Now, I don’t mean to encourage rash decision making without giving them any thought, but there is a fine line between minimal and excessive thoughts that should be practiced. Once you feel that you have thought about the matter for quite some time, make the decision and leave the rest up to fate. In doing this, you will be able to respect yourself and increase self-trust. Without this, your self-doubt will increase and you will lose trust in yourself to make productive decisions.
Eventually, you will find out whether the decision was correct or if it led to a situation that wasn’t ideal. Either way, you were able to avoid the overwhelming thoughts in that moment and use that energy productively. You were able to enjoy the present moment if you made the correct decision, and if you didn’t, you were able to brainstorm measures that would allow you to change your decision. In my case, the largest decision I had to make was college selection. I had to make sure the college I chose aligned perfectly with my career goals while maintaining a decent distance from my home to visit often. With the help of my family, my research and opinions from friends, I chose a university that combined both of my desires. Although I was worried about leaving home for the very first time, I gave myself comfort in knowing that my decision was reversible. I could transfer schools and be closer to my family if things didn’t work out. Even though that would be a long process, I did feel at ease knowing I had this option. Although the fear of making the wrong decision looms over everyone's heads, we have to embrace the wrong decisions as well as their consequences because ultimately they were meant to happen and inherently taught you life lessons that will be valuable in the years to come.
Embrace yourself
When you’re drowning in the thoughts rushing through your brain, it can be hard to recognize personal successes and positive qualities about yourself. Oftentimes, we also brush off successes and treat them as things that were expected to happen instead of celebrating them. Remembering these successes allows you to focus on the positive things and your ability to accomplish things. Recognizing these successes, even if they are small, will increase feelings of self-assurance and feel more confidence in approaching the overwhelming thoughts and dealing with everything that comes with them.
Practicing self-compassion is another way to embrace yourself and avoid overthinking. I recently came across this in my health course and was really taken aback by how harsh and rude we can be to ourselves. We were asked in class to brainstorm ways we would treat our friends if certain things happened in their lives and they needed our support. Everyone in the room came up with amazing, positive ways that they would support their friends. The professor was pleased to hear these thoughts but she asked us, “So, why wouldn’t you apply these techniques to yourself if you were in similar situations of hardship?”
We’re so hard on ourselves and give ourselves very little room to be human sometimes, which has a negative effect on the relationship with ourselves. Overthinking about past decisions or future worries gives you the license to beat yourself up about insignificant things that are reversible and can be changed. In the end, we are humans, and being compassionate toward ourselves the same way we are to others is necessary to avoid patterns of overthinking.
Once you learn how to manage your overthinking and live in present times, there is a greater chance that you will feel happier overall. Changing the mentality from life being something that happens to you to life being something that happens for you will improve your emotional health and your lifestyle. Even negative emotions have the potential to become positive outcomes — it all depends on your point of view. Having the maturity to understand that these negative emotions will exist throughout your life and treat them as gifts that will help you grow will help you live a more positive life.
