Why you don’t have to figure everything out before 30
By Vatika
It seems like society expects you to have everything figured out by the time you’re 30. You have to have finished school. You have to have a solid career. You have to buy a house. You have to be married or in a relationship with kids on the horizon. But life is not linear. It’s a roller coaster of sine and cosine waves, throwing us curve balls that we can’t always predict and it is sometimes hard to prepare for all of them.
Having your life figured out by 30 with the right education and job, partner, family, car and so on was easier to attain before but has now become something of a societal construct. But society’s rules are not made to fit everyone.
Think about how different life was in our parents’ or grandparents’ generation. Many people at the time would start working for a company and stay there for years if not decades. Meanwhile, millennials and Gen Zers are changing jobs and careers at record rates.
Indeed recently found that between the ages of 18 to 24, people change jobs an average of 5.7 times and an average of 2.4 times between 25 to 34, comparatively to 1.9 times at the ages of 45 to 52.
The popular sitcom “Friends” shows a view of what our 20s and 30s look like, albeit with a comedic twist. The characters go through a plethora of changes and obstacles throughout their mid to late 20s and into their 30s. Phoebe didn’t even have a “Pl-” when asked if she had a plan. Chandler did a complete career switch and started as an intern at an advertising agency in his 30s after he was married. Most of the characters were renting their housing well into their 30s and didn’t get married until their mid to late 30s.
According to CBS News, the median age for buying a house in the U.S. is 36 years old, which is up from 33 years old the previous year. In addition, home buyers are traveling further now than in past years from their childhood homes to buy their property. This may be in part due to the rising costs of housing, with the median price around $385K USD and mortgage rates being around 7%.
Decades ago, it was more the norm to get married earlier and start a family by 25-30 years old, but there were fewer educational and career growth opportunities at the time. Census data from 1890 to 2022 shows that over the decades, the median age of marriage has increased every year. According to a study done by The Knot in 2022, the average age of marriage across the U.S. for females was 30 and for males was 32.
The people around us, friends, family, the people we work with and our society have these milestones that seem like something we must achieve. But sometimes we have to make decisions from the options that are presented to us at that moment. Comparing your life, professional or personal, is counterproductive to any goals you may have. Taking others as inspiration is a great start, but then focus that energy into achieving your own goals, rather than comparing yourself to others and feeling down.
Not having things figured out by a certain age mainly comes from the fear of what others and society will think and what the consequences will be. Always know that you can change your career and job at any time. You can get married at whatever age you and your partner feel ready to, if you both want to. Live your life the way that works for you and try not to hold yourself to expectations from society, previous generations or those around you.
Header photo by Bruna Gabrielle Félix / Pexels
